When I fell pregnant I vowed to maintain my friendships with the women that I had already surrounded myself with. I promised that I would still go on nights out, that I would continue to brunch like a champ, that I wouldn't be "that girl" that disappears when she has a baby.
And then he was born.
And I struggled, so so hard. Every day it was a tearful battle to stay awake, get the perfect latch, find and prepare food one-handed, soak poo-stained onesies (why did I spend so much money on clothes for them to be defecated on almost immediately?). There were so many days that I couldn't find the energy, time or hands to brush my hair or get dressed, let alone maintain a social schedule. And seriously, if I ever get a night baby-free, I'm not spending it in a bar. I'm spending it sleeping.
I lost a number of friendships. They just drifted away from me. I felt so isolated and alone, why doesn't MY baby ever sleep? How does SHE manage to put makeup on and straighten her hair every day? I can't even get myself together enough to pee! Thank GOD for the Mum Friends who understood what I was going through and did the most helpful things imaginable to make my life easier.
One friend had a Coles delivery sent to me full of snacks, treats and magazines.
Another came over bearing coffee, berries, one-handed lunch and wouldn't take no for an answer as she powered through my washing up and left me with dinner ready to pop in the oven.
A family member booked me a facial and held my baby while I had the most blissful hour of my life, alone, cosy and being pampered - and when I was panicking that my bub wouldn't drink expressed milk in a bottle she did not hesitate to tell me that if it came to it she would feed my baby for me.
More than the flowers, more than the gifts, and certainly more than the incessant "are you still pregnant?" messages - these are the women who got me through the fourth trimester.
A year on from then and my closest circle is so different from my pre-baby circle. There are some things that only a fellow Mum can really understand. A true friend is no longer someone who will dance the night away in a vodka haze in the Valley. A true friend is one I can call from the McDonald's drive thru as I order takeaway coffee in my pajamas telling her I'm on my way to her house because my child is driving me insane.
Mum friends are the absolute most special connections in the world. Women who are blind to the pile of laundry on the couch and who don't care that I haven't brushed my hair in 3 days. The ones who will happily make their own coffee at my house and offer to watch the kids so I can unload the dishwasher - these are my people.
