Mum Friends

When I fell pregnant I vowed to maintain my friendships with the women that I had already surrounded myself with. I promised that I would still go on nights out, that I would continue to brunch like a champ, that I wouldn't be "that girl" that disappears when she has a baby.

And then he was born.

And I struggled, so so hard. Every day it was a tearful battle to stay awake, get the perfect latch, find and prepare food one-handed, soak poo-stained onesies (why did I spend so much money on clothes for them to be defecated on almost immediately?). There were so many days that I couldn't find the energy, time or hands to brush my hair or get dressed, let alone maintain a social schedule. And seriously, if I ever get a night baby-free, I'm not spending it in a bar. I'm spending it sleeping.

I lost a number of friendships. They just drifted away from me. I felt so isolated and alone, why doesn't MY baby ever sleep? How does SHE manage to put makeup on and straighten her hair every day? I can't even get myself together enough to pee! Thank GOD for the Mum Friends who understood what I was going through and did the most helpful things imaginable to make my life easier.

One friend had a Coles delivery sent to me full of snacks, treats and magazines.

Another came over bearing coffee, berries, one-handed lunch and wouldn't take no for an answer as she powered through my washing up and left me with dinner ready to pop in the oven.

A family member booked me a facial and held my baby while I had the most blissful hour of my life, alone, cosy and being pampered - and when I was panicking that my bub wouldn't drink expressed milk in a bottle she did not hesitate to tell me that if it came to it she would feed my baby for me.

More than the flowers, more than the gifts, and certainly more than the incessant "are you still pregnant?" messages - these are the women who got me through the fourth trimester.

A year on from then and my closest circle is so different from my pre-baby circle. There are some things that only a fellow Mum can really understand. A true friend is no longer someone who will dance the night away in a vodka haze in the Valley. A true friend is one I can call from the McDonald's drive thru as I order takeaway coffee in my pajamas telling her I'm on my way to her house because my child is driving me insane.

Mum friends are the absolute most special connections in the world. Women who are blind to the pile of laundry on the couch and who don't care that I haven't brushed my hair in 3 days. The ones who will happily make their own coffee at my house and offer to watch the kids so I can unload the dishwasher - these are my people.

I know my revision date!!!!

My ties are being revised on February 24th! I'm so excited!

My whole life seems to be full of the pre-revision appointments and exercises.

I am doing Orofacial Myofunctional Therapy with Enhance for around a month before the revision. Orofacial Myofunctional Therapy is a type of therapy that teaches you how to use the correct facial and oral muscles to do everyday tasks. Basically, it is to help to train my head to do things normally. After 29 years of practice, I have bulked up all the wrong muscles and can't swallow, breathe, or even stand correctly.

The therapy includes exercises that work on my tongue, lips, posture and breathing and change weekly to help me learn to use correct muscles to do things that are simple for other people, like swallow water and breathe through my nose.

OMT is optional with the revision but has higher rates of success than the revision, bodywork and at home exercises alone that are recommended. What this involves is a weekly appointment where my mouth gets manipulated and massaged, we practice the exercises, I get a new set of them and we discuss where I am at. I do this in conjunction with seeing a Chiropractor twice a week and exercises at home minimum three times per day.

Honestly, it was a hard decision which route to take as the price is hugely different, and as some of you know, none of this is covered by Medicare or Private Health. I believe that the reason for this is because tie revision is still considered to be elective cosmetic surgery. Not, you know, an essential procedure so that I'm not in constant pain every day of my life.

I went back and forth a bit, but decided to go ahead with whatever was going to give me the best outcomes - all or nothing, right?

I am nearly two weeks into my OMT and I can feel the difference. If I do the exercises religiously, I clench my jaw and grind my teeth less. It makes me excited to think of the even bigger changes that are sure to come after the actual procedure.

 The countdown is on, 18 sleeps until revision day!

How did I know that I had ties?

Hi all,

So, first thing is first.

Most often, less often that I would hope, parents are told about ties when they are having a particularly difficult time breastfeeding. Sadly, it is commonly dismissed by health professionals, so most people that I have come into contact with regarding ties have found out about them on parenting groups on Facebook.

Common symptoms for ties in infants include:
Some common Signs of Infant Tongue/Lip tie (completely borrowed from Dr Jones' blog on her website, linked below) include

• Poor latch/inability to latch
• Sliding off the nipple
• Fatigue during feeds
• Sleepy feeds
• Irritability while feeding
• Poor weight gain
• Clicking during a feed
• Dribbling milk at the breast/ bottle
• Digestive issues (such as increased gassiness, reflux, colic, vomiting, distended stomach)
• Maternal nipple pain/ damage (feels like the infant is compressing, chewing, gumming, pinching the nipple)
• Increased maternal nipple/ breast infection
• Compromised maternal milk supply

This was the case for me, and as I have previously posted, B had his ties lasered at Enhance Dentistry in Milton in Brisbane when he was 9 weeks old with fantastic results.

Soon afterwards, I began following Debbie from Breastfeeding Affirmations as she had her ties released and realised how much of my life was different or difficult because of my own restrictions.

Symptoms that I struggle with are:

• Grinding my teeth
• Clenching my jaw
• Neck pain
• Headaches
• Huge dental bills
• Restricted neck movement (I cannot do shoulder checks while driving - I can't believe I thought that was normal!)
• Speech problems
• Difficulty shutting my mouth (my family has been right all along, haha)
• Difficulty swallowing
• Problems with liquids
• Poor posture 
• Tongue thrusting

Also - I could see them. Ties cannot be diagnosed by looking at them alone, but in combination with everything else, they were painfully obvious when looking at them. Now I'm obsessed with spotting ties and can no longer watch anything with Jude Law in it.

I have decided this year to prioritise my own health as much as I can after being so burnt out mothering a newborn all through last year, and this is the first step!

Awesome people and things that I mentioned in this:
Symptoms of ties in infants - Enhance Dentistry
Enhance Dentistry
Breastfeeding Affirmations

#ItsTies

Hi all,

I am starting this blog to document my journey as a gentle/attachment parent.

Over time, it will include baby-led weaning recipes and ideas, breastfeeding information, babywearing posts and more, but for now I am covering something relating less to bub and more to me.

From birth, my baby had so many of the symptoms of tongue and lip ties. But instead of diagnosing and treating these, countless paediatricians, doctors, midwives and lactation consultants prescribed things like lactose free formula (I can practically hear all the CMPI mums groaning), sleep training, bottle feeding, nipple shields, infacol, infants friend, panadol, nurofen, even prescription wind medication - and none of this helped even one bit.

Thankfully, I am surrounded by wonderful mothers who could tell me what was "normal" for a newborn and what was not.

For weeks I resisted the idea of ties. I compared my mouth with bubs' and we looked the same. How could he be tied if our mouths looked the same? ***spoiler, I'm tied too***. When baby B was 9 weeks old, I experienced what I interpreted as a sudden drop in breastmilk supply. This freaked me out so much that I finally took on board the hundreds of mums internet-shouting at me that my baby was tied and booked him in for a formal assessment.

We had his ties lasered the same day and almost all of our problems disappeared within 4 days.

Since then, I have been a massive advocate of tie release, so much so that I have decided to have my own ties released after discovering how much of my "normal" is, in fact, not!

I know that adult tie release is an even less well known concept than infant tie release, so I will document my experience every step of the way in the hopes that some of you who are considering tie release in yourselves can make a really informed decision.